All gone by so fast inevitably. I really didn't know it would took me off some time to be able to get back in writing online in all sorts. Weeks, weeks, weeks and weeks past I'm feeling unproductive due to all the pending stuff I've been working on.
But the good thing is that I manage to jot down scribble of thoughts on a piece of paper which most people taken for granted nowadays. I never thought how much I've been technologically dependent - one of my guilty pleasures!
The old Acer computer I'm using finally given up so I'm waiting for the replacement on the way which I didn't know it would take a bajillion of weeks of waiting. How frustrating!
I've been wanting to do much of my time to renew my working habits in a manner that it would serves me well in the end somehow. I was caught in a so-called rainy day blues financially which made my days out in the drain. It scares me to think how these unfathomable fear creep up on me in the normal days of the weeks.
How I wish my heart don't put too much emotion on me for thinking too much personal issues I've been confronted with. These emotional blockages taking its toll on me in my physical condition. I'm easily get tired than most of the usual days I've been hanging on. It is something I've been fighting on - not to be easily preoccupied by the things I'm not yet prepared to face.
Sometimes, there are some things I said that came out in the open which I really didn't mean to. It's hurting but once I had released it, it just keeps me feel better. No one has the right to shun me down from talking, from speaking what's on my mind and most of all to tell me what to feel. Once you been through all the hurt, that's the time you know how to react and stand for yourself no matter what people dictates you.
Have you heard how they say, it rains down-pour but I'm really trying to see much wider beyond my perspectives. It's hard to rely only on the things what you feel because sometimes it is the one will ruined you through destruction. I'm not scared of being left out with this burden which I have no choice but to carry as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
As for tonight, I will put an end to this by writing and maybe disregard it in the end sooner or later. I better refreshed all my thoughts and somehow I'll be able to write more positively.
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