Friday, November 28, 2008

mind over matter

Do I heard myself right? Darn! I'm a little off the whole week for being sick and feeling miserable every time I get up on my chair. Hopefully, I'm getting better soon as soon as this weekend ends. I don't know. I can't barely sleep too.

I am easily distracted by so many things nowadays whether I ignore it or not. These days I'm having a hard time to make up a good point and to stand by through it no matter what. Though, I really tried to see things in a more wider perspective that somehow I am able to send the message across without having any offense to anyone especially those close to my heart.

For so many times I dreadfully dreaded to live forever in the shadow of this fear that I didn't even try myself to express, reached out and to feel any kind of emotion. I am not afraid to be single out because I've been there for so long. On top of it all, you cannot please people all the time like these barriers you can't always expect to win.

No, I never see it a downfall in anyway or if it was just let it all out. Don't let anyone shut you down from being yourself just for the sake of making a stand even if you're the last one standing. Let it go. Breathe. Just breathe. Sometimes, you all have to do is to break the ice. Don't stay to the norms get out of your shell.

You'll never know you might touch a life and people realize how you really meant it not to hurt them. That's what I do. I am continually asking for that strength to endure every time these moment comes when everything is so hard to bear. We all have that barriers. Sometimes, barriers are self-imposed after all you can't do anything but just to live with it.

Any weekend barriers?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

overdue blog

A LONG OVERDUE COLD SYNDROME strikes on me again. I hate when these things ruin your day as I've been taking Decolgen for nasal congestion and sore throat. The minimal uneasiness eventually subsides as I'm getting to use these abrupt change of weather. Though I am feeling a lot better now. I regretted that I didn't write for the reason I am not at my best. So, this makes it a far overdue blog too.

No, I haven't turning away or anything. It just happened that the three days over the weekends are very much exhausting for me. However, it is so great to spending some time with a few good people just for a change of my typical routine. And I loved it! Of course, I didn't forgot the District Convention Theme: Guided By the Holy Spirit - which is much earlier this year. The newly baptised went up to 141. The new release of literature makes it also exciting for us. I just can't believe the answers I've been reading at my hands. It's the same answers for questions left me puzzled wary for so many days, months now. Pretty much the symposium tackles everything I never imagine myself missing it if I didn't make it until the last day. The last day was quite hard for me I've been sick the early morning of preparation until I calm myself if I really can make it that day.

I am glad I've been surrounded by a lot supportive people who never gets tired of me. Just as this year, I realize how things can quickly changed by circumstances in one or another no matter how we chose it to be or not to be. But, as I heard: Make the Truth as your own... like how Jehovah love us first..

After the assembly, a sister friend dropped me and my sister at home.. It feels good and grateful that I'm still there.. Sitting in that corner, though there are certain things change.. I don't know.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Goodbye, Bestfriend Goldie!


Now, I just realize I'm not been twittering for almost two days or even blogging as if I've been going somewhere... NOPE! Never I could imagine. Sometimes, how frustrating it is if you are not even close to what you are supposed to be doing. I'm in and out of my regular routine in the past few days.. It feels like all the side tracks of life eventually having it's toll on me. Have you ever felt like you just had enough? Just like the plain simple "enough is enough." Sadly, I am.

Yesterday, we said goodbye to my oldest cat Marigold or Goldie.. We have her for almost 4 years now in and outdoor. Well.. four years that makes it about 32 years old in human years. It feels like I've lost a best friend, a great friend although sometimes she isn't that sweet because she doesn't like to be hugged at all times. I can't count how many fish she stole on my plate.. Verrrry pesky! Awww, I will miss feeding you in the morning, tomorrow!

...And then there's 4 cats left.