Today I really want to write in a more upbeat manner just for the reason that life is what it is. For the most part, words are just words though real life away from the blogosphere can be pretty much exhausting, fun and stressful at times all rolled into one.
What a bumpy ride.
There are times when I totally want to drown myself into a deep slumber in a good way but what can I do there's no easy way out in the midst of an issue surfacing one after the other.
I guess, everything comes in a matter of perspective. It's either hope for the best or just expect the worst. I tried to believe so.
I'm indifferent. Today I chose to be me. Today is not that tragic. It's just one of those average days when I'm bound to let the time to pass by. Clockwatching. Learning to conform and embrace the beauty of ambiguity that everything goes like a cycle of tides turning.
Today I'm grateful that I am stronger than before in terms of emotional level somehow in order to survive you got to have the toughest skin as ever. I admit there are things I want to learn to let go inside myself like to never take grudges and bury the things that needed to buried. I could have forgotten some of the painful memories of the past having this disability and looking back was such a waste of time but for me this is what personal blogging is all about. I call this as my only outlet. I treat this like a friend, my great confidant. A psychological therapy that eventually recording the things out of the madness of the moment can be passe. When I was in college, I learned the real value of patience about people in either way they will love you or hate you. As I've never been this friendly like myself now in my schooling days, I am aloof most of the time. I closed my doors in getting to know anyone and meeting new people treating them as if they are going to bite me. I guess, to make the story brief you have to treat everyone like you want to be treated. Probably, that includes personal issues treating it like the way it want to be treated. Love begets love.
Sorry but I need my personal space to grow up and taking everything in slowly which I somehow cannot grasp in a few years back. Yes, I'm totally disconnecting myself with family and friends that was very much of me counting down the days of isolation in either way I don't have a choice. I guess, that let me maintain the level of sanity I have today in a figurative speaking. I just can't fit in much worse back then. That I really don't want anyone to define me and fit into some sort of a mold. It is a synchronicity revolves around in your life that appears in the way beyond your control.
Now I just take a deep breathe. Isn't that life is breath taking.
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