Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Silent No More

I NEVER tend to hate hate.

It's just that I'm too caught up with all these so many emotional turmoil from here and there that I barely didn't notice how much space it eaten up my time and attention to the extent of a nervous breakdown (don't worry I'm still far from being insane!). So far, real life can really be too disappointing at times. Well, same old story and issues nothing new. It is not supposed to be that way though it lingers. No matter how much I ignore what some people say about it is still bothersome. I guess, it is their problem anyway. I don't care.


For so many times I lost my own voice to voice out whatever emotion I felt during on a day to day basis whether I am angry, sad nor even when I'm at my most upbeat spirits. Now I just realize what about me letting go of this fear of standing to what I believe in no matter what would people say in my circles. Maybe because I'm the one who is more understanding, tolerant and careless towards anyone who would asked me any favor. So to speak, I just go on with the flow of things even if it makes everything worse. I do give myself a credit for that.

It just so hard to explain that sometimes I really do need space for me to grow and let go of these whatever that I need to voice out. I also do get angry at times but that doesn't mean I took grudges of anyone whenever I need to be myself. If you're not with me to the things that I say, well it is just fine for me. I don't hold your right to express the things you ought to say. We all goes through certain phases in our life when we need to spend some time alone for self reflection, meditation and even cast out the angst whatever your heart tells you. That's the same thing with crying. Crying doesn't really mean you are weak because people do cry for various reasons. But most of the time, we do cry for holding on to the pain or whatever that is for so long.

It is part of human existence. As a matter of fact, I do love to experience all that emotion in my lifetime to distinguish from one emotion to the other. But that doesn't mean I'm crazy. I'm just a weirdo. Mostly, it is just my way of embracing my skin, my uniqueness, quirkiness, vulnerability, flaws and everything that makes me human.

I am probably disabled in the outside but in my own world feels like there's so many things I need to do like learn a new art, places to explore, maybe pursue a new career, or write more lenses as always. I am a modern day dreamer dreaming of a wings so I can fly to somewhere I've never been before. Some say, it's not to late that if you are really wanted something why don't you give it a shot.

Remember, losers are only quitters. 

No comments: