Still struck with the happenings of the day pretty much on an emotional level of attachment when you are kid you tend to linger for something so precious like a pet that you can’t hold on onto even for a minute. Though not a kid anymore just a 24 year old kid that is! Just the thought of it left me totally feeling exhausted being the most emotional person that I am, I’m sure you can just imagine the throw of emotion I can show you.
I just know when something is wrong with me when I tend to act the opposite and verge on the hype of everything I do while coping up in a certain situation. Have you ever had of those episodes as a defense mechanism? Instead of focusing on the negative facets of life, you tend to see things in a different perspective and in a much brighter light that somehow everything happens for a reason crap mentality. It surge you to accept the level of reality that, No, there’s got to be a way better than this or else I have no choice. That’s why some turn into food or anything that can lead you out into that deep, dark room of depression eventually piling up on your way before you even discover, you are waiting to explode.
Having said that, it’s all some kind of observation when the going gets tough, the tough gets going in real life which can be draining at times. It sucks the life in you. Pretty much the life I tried to live in right now. So far, I don’t have the right complain for the thing I can do and cannot do for it pushes me to strive for more and hunger for that deprivation whatever it is. Though in some cases, I try not to focus on the things that can shake my faith as a person as long I still have the people who are also with me at my worst and at my best most especially I’m pretty much okay on that.
I believe that you don’t need to rush things to get hold the goal you are anticipating for as long as you work harder on your craft no one has the right to question your ability as you serve it right. Now I’m trying to focus on the more free-spirited me which I need to contemplate on that surreal level of myself in the near future.
You can never be the person you ought to be in a matter of minutes or days; well it takes time to get used to yourself for whatever you want to do. But the toughest game to do is to know exactly what you wanted to do. It sounds like the much complicated me but the thought of typing those words is what I really mean to say. It’s hard to do when you don’t know what’s in there and what you wanted to do.
Well, that is very me in the past few years of verging and searching thoroughly the purpose why I’m still here and what can I do to make a difference to the people that surrounds even for my own little way. Though still didn’t did much in this life but somehow I’d learned something to be matured enough to say that we should know our goal, our purpose and find a way to act on it. Though there’s still people who are very much widely awake but don’t even opening up their senses that they need to be responsible on their actions no matter what it is. I’m quite puzzled how they seem to wake every morning, go to work and do their job but the real passion is not there and they can even hurt you until you can never be the same again…
With my Martini at home
PS: RIP Martini & One Eye. I'll sorely miss you both...
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