Everyday ordinary rants

Feeling slightly detached today though I really don’t know where all the crappy-ness streaming out somewhere in my system. I’ve secluded myself into some sort of a bubble for quite some time now.

This is my life. Sounds like a self-affirmation. So be it.

I should’ve known better that this routine was synonymous to none other than loneliness though no one ever notices it as the passing of the day.

I’m trying not to over psyche myself that working at home has finally taking its toll on me inevitably. For once in my life I woke up for something I can hold on to but in case like this it seems like I’ve booked myself into a self exiled island where life is pretty much like the day after tomorrow.

Days come and it goes. A myriad of cycles I’m still tied up into this cave. All is bound to change except me or I can barely notice it.

On the other hand, if there are pains definitely there comes the gain in all this. I tried to believe so. I’m way past of the things I tried to worked on in the past few months so far it is smoothly going on its way where it’s supposed to be. I’m trying to figure out the sense of doing this ‘art’ for quite a long time now.

Probably, I’ll need to plan out another goal or new niche in the coming days that is.

Now I’m tired and it’s time to rest my case.

Fish Koi Designs from Zazzle

Make a personalized gift at Zazzle.

Just in time with the Summery day, I finally gave it a try to make a few design on Zazzle inspired by the beach and everything all about the ocean. I'm actually missing the beach right now so I thought Fish Koi in my aquarium would be a perfect theme design for this season.

I am so excited about this somehow I enjoyed the time creating each design with the joy in my heart as if I'm really got to see the ocean myself plus it works so well in Squidoo lenses too coming up!

http://www.zazzle.com/naiza86

random rants about being 24

So after some merrymaking days I came back to my old self again. I was selfishly keeping all the thoughts to my self as if my life ever mattered to the world of blogosphere. I just don't know what to say anymore. Or it's just the right way silently for me to put it.


Again, there goes in the left corner the same old fancy table cluttered with my hair dirt, cat's fur and a few book stacks waiting for me to read. This is exactly the same bubble where I used to spent all my waking hours desperately thinking how life passes swiftly to anyone but not me. If there's anything in the world that came to my realization right now is that 'life isn't fair after all'.

It's obviously stupid for me to ask questions on why can't I just be where I want to be and not feeling this certain limitation that I haven't felt for such a long time now. This is something I really tried to disregard without any doubt, a reality check I never dare to fathom. It stinks how I cannot possibly enjoy life to the fullest which is very much impossible to attain or somehow at least to break away from these barriers not just once a month of going outdoors. I miss attending regular college classes which I believe I could finish anytime whenever I want to but not now. Until someone good told me I better stick to my writing course because this is what gives me all the good fortune cookie. Sounds like a sweet tap in my back that finally I was born to do this or maybe not and there I was exposed to this online contributing business where you are commonly called 'SEO' in your own right. Basically, I could have done more if not because of this limitation which I kept on overcoming everyday not because of the limitation rather by the circumstances it brought along. Somehow, this is the same reason why I'm fond of cats which most normal people won't understand the sense of companionship and comfort they tend to show you. Just like I said before, I were going to do the same task mostly everyday like these stuff I might already went insane to death or else you'll find me talking to myself which I don't want to happen. In any case, I'll stay sick in a matter of days or two for too much tweaking or copy write myself. I know, it was absurd, depressing and a little bit of everything.

De-cluttering is one of the most everyday chores I am not enjoying the most too and I know you do. It's quite of a big deal for me to keep on going without the things I get used to well I should have included that in my resolution's list instead, I will tell you when I get there. It's just that the mind has a hard habit to break.

Last Thursday 04 Feb., I turned 24 somehow the age I dreadfully dreaded aside from being 25 next year. The world of adults are too much crap! They pretend to be grown-ups but they aren't grown up at all. One more thing you know that I came from a family who don't celebrate birthdays, Christmas or any festive pagan belief that contradicts the Bible so it was somehow a typical day. The dinner was awesome even though it was rush and everyone is cramming to cook because my nephew mostly kids of my cousin are hungry waiting. Well, what people don't know much about me is that I hate grand celebrations or even parties which seems to kinda like a attention-getter-seeker galore. But I appreciate all the warm wishes, kind thoughts and memories from everyone I happen to came across personally and online. You are all amazing. Well, as much I'm having less fun on being cranky and complaining whatever goes through me at the end day, suddenly it starting to fade. It must be because all these things makes me better in the end it gets me more closer to the kind of person I really want to be that is truly who I am. I can impatience at times sort of a snob at times but I can happily say that I am becoming good in handling emotions now especially the moods swings I experiencing mostly everyday. It is somehow part of what you call 'maturity' in the process that is very innate in us. The water that runs too deep finally it subsides to cool it down I was telling that to myself the other day. Well, let us take one step at a time. There's no need to rush.

Notice how I started off this entry quite contrasting. Sounds like I'm on a bad day so far not that close but I'm obviously stating how routine kind of life seems so monotonous at times and tires you down easily. And this is how sadly I manage to live my life on a day to day basis. Sometimes, I tried to stick on matter that we all do have a choice and if this day I chose to be happy because this is my choice nothing would stop me from being happy. The choices we make in life is somehow what defines us in one way or the other. And this is what I love about living this life.

It is raw, pure and simple ME.

My one simple wish is that to wake up someday in another city some sort of time traveling in the unknown that would be a great adventure. To be more realistic speaking in my own terms, I NEED A VACATION! Will someone booked me a flight anywhere away from home just for one day? Someone out there listening who will spare some of that wish I will be grateful. Yes, indeed. Okay. Silly me! This is what you get reading too much sci-fi out of this world this world novels where a genie meets aladin shouting ABRA-KADBRA!

On the other hand, I'm also back on reading a few new and old books from the cluttered book stacks in my desk to collect more thoughts and re-collects. The house is more like a dog and cat shelter nowadays I'm enjoying the company of these felines so hungry mouths to feed.

I'm almost up til this late and I'm ready to start a new week. Keeping my finger's cross for nothing but just a smooth sailing, not much stress-free week.

Goodbye August!

I guess, it’s now time to brush up this empty page. I don't know. For quite some time I feel like there's something within me that holding me up from writing on what concerns me at the end of the day.

Not sure why. Maybe because after all that is said and done I'm still blessed to be here and so far things are working on the way that is opt to be expected. There are certain things in life that is part of the madness that for the moment no matter how you tend to control it, it’ll therefore passes by after the long run of holding unto it… You therefore accept the things beyond your control but to accept. Everything becomes a matter of mind set to move on forward to what is more important in your life right now. There are still constant restraints along the way but it is what makes you a much better person without counting down the bruises. After all the while, it is indeed a lesson learned. That is how I would sum up the month of August.

Most of the time, I wrote things that reflects my personal way of life, my hopes and fears, the oddities I’m living in the past twenty three years of my life, the disability that pushed me away to enjoy the life of an average person does as well some of the tad part is not totally mine but from those amazing people that I happened to meet along this so-called “life”. Now I need to gather up my thoughts to positivity for this month and for the coming months so that whatever crisis arise I’ll not lose my sense of composure to stand the overpowering pressure from the outside forces. Don’t you think I need a break? There are days I how wish I could go time travel if there’s something like that is possible. What a sweet escape!

Today is a wet day. Gloomy rainy days are pretty much the weather lately. It goes to show that we are coming to the last quarter of the year when the weather a bit colder than the usual tropical sunny days. So far, I’m glad that my work is at home. Too many things to write about but I got a limited time up and down in my chair. Sleeping is pretty much a routine how I wish I can easily spend more in days when I can easily catch it. I’m more of a night person nowadays that makes this a perfect job in the world!

Finally, I got great treat none other than a new spankin’ mini laptop for work courtesy of Mom. I’ve been craving for this so so many many months now. After all the long patience and hard work, the fruit of labor is finally here... Sweet!

Gotta go back to my online writing projects now. Trying myself to busy..

I hope the sun shines from where you're at.

Ooops, my IP address got blocked!

What are the things that consummate your patience today? Have you been telling yourself lately, “is this the price I have to pay after all the hard work?” How much are you willing to still give in?

I guess, I am a couple of times.

Having a bad day is not a valid reason why not to write. I tried to believe so. I really tried to put up a clear picture of everything into perspective.

It is something within my nature to keep on trying even though I cringed at uncertainties at times. At least, you are not giving up.

Breathe.
Until everything clears.

the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak

Darn for all the days of absence in blogging and for doubting myself at times. But on the lighter side, absence is not all bad. I'm doing a series of naps or sleeps whatever you call it, in the afternoon curling up with a good book and it really increases my appetite for anything nonsense that goes through the day. How about that? I don't know if it really matters for doing me any good.

It's just that there are days when I felt like I'm stuck somewhere that I can't nearly start my day right off to where I wanted it to be. As they say, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak so I'm trying to convince myself that everyday is worth a try no matter what holds you of doing the last time.

I notice that since this month has started I haven't done any new pages yet on Squidoo or more often than not I'm not nearly done on updating those previous 80+ pages. It's not that I'm in a hurry myself or anything I just hope I wasn't neglecting in anything not just in Squidoo rather most especially in the so-called 'real-life outside'.

I'm sure I do all have the time. No, I'm not that bored. I'm actually enjoying the loads of stuff I'm learning on the way and the more I work on learning new things I learned that it is meant to be earned that way and that there is no such thing as tough things in life that you cannot do when you have eagerness and determination.

At the end of the day, you only got yourself not to compare with others but to trust that voice within yourself that you can do even the hardest things you thought you cannot do...

Unreasonable Spam Bait Filter Hooked My Lenses

All swell, but still never ends well. It never occurred to me how serious it is being faced with so many online issues, bugs, glitches, and accused of spamming on my pages. I really tried to believe in myself that I will never ever do spamming in my life.

It seems that it is found everywhere, turn in to your mail and there it delivers to you without knowing. Spam is not something edible which at first sounds like a good chunk of meat. Well, the point is it’s junk and bad to your health.

Okay, I hear you, Squid Team.

After all is said and done, it just left my brain toast in looking for some resolution. Anyway, having said that despite of these of all a sudden issues I hope to be back on writing some new stuff in the coming days. I just can’t focus right now even though I’m just here updating from here to there.

Trojans is a virus not a horse! Ah

Acck! At last the Thursday evening spree with the cousins end. I just thought I'll be able to sleep easily the way I wanted to but it never happened so my last resort is to blog. The day is pretty much as the usual musings in the house, feeding the cats and the dogs, updating lenses from time to time, catching up with the Olympics on TV, scanning all my files to check if there's any trace of a virus in the system and I was right. I found out that the 24 files in my system are infected by malwares, trojans and other forms of encrypted code viruses usually pops up from opening different sites. I don't know. This sort of thing is really time consuming and pretty much exhausting to death. I am becoming a virus freak nowadays. Wishing that this laptop I'm using will not give up! It is still my all time favorite gadget in the world. Yeh!

Yesterday, it rain the whole day. The classes are suspended so another lists in a lot of unexpected Filipino holiday. That is why because of the tropical storm I'm a bit disappointed with our internet connection here. I'm a having a hard time to connect and update Squidoo lens as a part of a hobby and a job I do online. My life right now is pretty much the same. Nothing much loud to talk about. I'm feeling okay in regards to some friends who might be so worried about me. I'm trying to take things one step at a time. As much as possible, I'm trying to divert my time only on positive things rather than focusing on thinking too much because I have the tendency to lose all the passion in my everyday life. That's why I'm very much thankful with the turn out of things in my own small little ways. Sometimes, the more you enjoy the simpler things, it's the more it brings you happiness, it's the more it light up your face.

It's all for now. Where am I?

We shall see on my next post.