Everyday ordinary rants

Feeling slightly detached today though I really don’t know where all the crappy-ness streaming out somewhere in my system. I’ve secluded myself into some sort of a bubble for quite some time now.

This is my life. Sounds like a self-affirmation. So be it.

I should’ve known better that this routine was synonymous to none other than loneliness though no one ever notices it as the passing of the day.

I’m trying not to over psyche myself that working at home has finally taking its toll on me inevitably. For once in my life I woke up for something I can hold on to but in case like this it seems like I’ve booked myself into a self exiled island where life is pretty much like the day after tomorrow.

Days come and it goes. A myriad of cycles I’m still tied up into this cave. All is bound to change except me or I can barely notice it.

On the other hand, if there are pains definitely there comes the gain in all this. I tried to believe so. I’m way past of the things I tried to worked on in the past few months so far it is smoothly going on its way where it’s supposed to be. I’m trying to figure out the sense of doing this ‘art’ for quite a long time now.

Probably, I’ll need to plan out another goal or new niche in the coming days that is.

Now I’m tired and it’s time to rest my case.

Too tired...

I am being asked a few days ago via twitter of what basically my blog is all about. Is it what really happening to me or am I some sort of a walking fictional character merely existed in this blogosphere?

Without any offense, I felt that's ridiculous. Of course, I do live and breathe.

It just happen that this is the outlet I'd chose to release the tensions, the joys and the triumph of my everyday life.

Macha, the Winking Cat

I prefer to see life as it comes on my way. I don't make plans for myself even for something I couldn't last to finish but of course I never say die. I know deep in my heart that I had a purpose. Jehovah has a purpose for me and when I started do something I just accept it as it comes without expectation nor excuses.

Simple as that...

x----

Feels like there's no easy way out to sleep well tonight as so many thinking thoughts rummaging through at the back of my mind. I know, how a prayer can be a powerful tool in a crucial times like this when I'm barely exhausted with issues suddenly surfacing in real life. There's money, family matters, arguments and nothing but arguments. Feels like for the first time in a very long time I'm all alone tied up into this chair searching for a silver lining out there at the end of the day. I'm almost there and yet so far.

And there I realize how I can't do this all alone. I need a pillar of strength to grasp on to escape this seems inevitable, dark loneliness coming from an abyss of resentment slowly taking its place in my heart. I got terrified of being mad at someone and scared of myself as I'm losing my grip at anger. I just need everything to voice out that, hey you, did you forget I'm still alive? I know you didn't even care but I'm hurting by the hurt you had caused that is seems irreparable right now. I'm only human. I'm not perfect and I can't live up to your own expectations. If you cannot take me as I am, better deal with it. Period.

Of all the people you may ask I had better issues and got loads of them in my drawer that I really need to bury it down. Somehow, it will take a matter of time on everything to get resolve which I actually don't lose the faith. Just don't get me wrong all the random rants I chose to bury them here instead of keeping it in my chest. Sometimes, the longer it takes you to rest your case can put all your energy down the drain as I'm trying to live my life no better nor worse.

It all sounds like a routine to be in all over again. I just got sick of getting into the arguments again but if it's the only way to straighten up things and be heard why not. Anyway, mind you as I keep on ranting my rants I'm not even aware how time flies its another month again coming. Feels like I'm not still prepared for the month of March to come so many things going on as for the most part its all issues I dare to worry my mind as it keep on coming.

I only have one prayer tonight, may everything put into its place as I'm wishing hard not for a perfect life very impossible rather for the strength amidst my condition. Now I need to work on new ideas for new contents, new niche probably and discover new things to acquire knowledge with all my internet-content business. I don't know how they call that!

May the force be with you.