Pretty much my life is a myriad of routines of waking up and staying up and mostly keeping my mind set on track whenever these little earthquakes tried to steal away my composure. Every day has always been a struggle I guess ever since I was born.
There are times my inner self painstakingly cried so hard to what life has to offer for me. As much as I tried to be the best person that I could ever be it always falls down that my best wasn't good enough for anyone.
I never hunger for attention nor sympathy or any admiration that somehow for some people I define bravery and that I never say die. I guess, my best wasn't good enough to make it this far or maybe just maybe I keep on living through Divine intervention that I'm still here. Good grief!
When I was young I really thought time machines really do exist. Its like how they do in the movies people time travel and one snap they can go places where they had never been. No sore feet. No hassle. And one blink of an eye everything is different. We are not who we supposed to be kind of episodes.
Then, Mom and Dad won't grew apart.
I will not be a by a product of a broken family.
I can go places I've never been.
Go bungee jumping.
Ride a hot air balloon.
Build my own house full of laughter and smiles.
Create a shelter for neglected cats and dogs.
Wear dresses and heels.
Love like you'll never get hurt.
Etc. etc.
Wow, there's just so many things coming out into my so-called bleak mind. I can't stop giggling like a lost little girl. I can almost picture myself doing all those things though I know I might not be the person I am now today writing this. Though anything is possible with the power of words, persistent, verbs, adjectives and little dash of imagination as if it could really happen.
That is if only time machines really do exist.
There are times my inner self painstakingly cried so hard to what life has to offer for me. As much as I tried to be the best person that I could ever be it always falls down that my best wasn't good enough for anyone.
I never hunger for attention nor sympathy or any admiration that somehow for some people I define bravery and that I never say die. I guess, my best wasn't good enough to make it this far or maybe just maybe I keep on living through Divine intervention that I'm still here. Good grief!
When I was young I really thought time machines really do exist. Its like how they do in the movies people time travel and one snap they can go places where they had never been. No sore feet. No hassle. And one blink of an eye everything is different. We are not who we supposed to be kind of episodes.
Then, Mom and Dad won't grew apart.
I will not be a by a product of a broken family.
I can go places I've never been.
Go bungee jumping.
Ride a hot air balloon.
Build my own house full of laughter and smiles.
Create a shelter for neglected cats and dogs.
Wear dresses and heels.
Love like you'll never get hurt.
Etc. etc.
Wow, there's just so many things coming out into my so-called bleak mind. I can't stop giggling like a lost little girl. I can almost picture myself doing all those things though I know I might not be the person I am now today writing this. Though anything is possible with the power of words, persistent, verbs, adjectives and little dash of imagination as if it could really happen.
That is if only time machines really do exist.
1 comment:
You write most poignantly and enchantingly Naiza. Gentle words with subtle rhythms. You are an excellent writer. I particularly enjoyed reading this.
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