Last night I found myself into a total exhaustion that I can't do nothing but to fell asleep in a much earlier time than I used to. I usually stay awake late hours after a couple hours of nap time to work on some new lens topic to prevent me from a bad case of procrastination. It is indeed a hard habit to break when it feels like I'm always caught off guard of what to write about in a days I badly needed it.
Anyway, I'm taking all the time I have here to be more productive hoping things will eventually put into place. I guess, that's just the way things are sometimes. The more it came unplanned the more it ease us up that it is going to be great amidst all the chaos of how it came to be. The same way how we came to be in this life somehow at first things came unclear and unplanned and then later on we realize how we are being part of a majestic plan that we are in this earth to have something to live for just like a purpose of making a difference. It doesn't matter how or when it came to be but the important thing is how everything came to finish. As I rest all my thoughts on the road to positivity that nothing can take away my peace somehow it took some time for me to realize how little distractions can easily bugged the hell out of me. It is like a monster underneath my bed waiting for me knowing I can't run.. I can't back out.. I can't hide anywhere of my own ordeal.
Frustrating how I tend to overlook at myself in this kind of situation where mostly the feeling of could have been, would have been and should have been enters at the back of my head though I am still living my own life one day at a time. I still put on the same clothes, put on the same smile, put on the same beggar's determination; as a way to cope up with the disability I'm trying to live with everyday. Not quite sure why I said that I'm very much still a normal person inside, because I really do. I digress. More often so far I'm still blessed sitting here pouring down all my heart into something I really enjoyed most. Maybe if I am not disabled I won't be here to share a story. My kind of story.
No comments:
Post a Comment