Pebrero

And just as that here comes the romantic month of February.

Did I say romantic because this is probably the most anticipated month of the year for all the lovers.  No, I won't talk about that. Or my much anticipated return of the season 3 of the The Walking Dead. Oh yeah. The heck with it this will mean another year older of me. I'm hitting the famous 27 club stigma though thankfully I'm still alive. But don't get me wrong I have so many things to be thankful for in this life.

How I was I can't be this overly dramatic all the time. So what is this a post turning twenty seven rants or should I say wishes.

I've been busy for quite some time now which I really do love and enjoyed alternating all these boring routines day after day. I keep myself on studying, taking up online courses, working on my content pages or do a little affiliate marketing here and there. How I wish I could have a little time for myself to unwind and explore the carefree outdoors. But it is always not my thing. I feel like I've been stuck here forever while everyone seems having the time of the their life here I am pondering how life can be so unfair and full of limitation. The same old story all over again. How about me at one time be limitless. No hold barred for the things I really want to do and hoping and wishing for.

Aw, I really want to travel the world someday. Maybe save up a couple of bucks that can cover up until my dying day. Build a tree house. Write a novel.

Wow. There's just a bunch to do. I really need to work hard on it.

I better start right now.

Namaste. I will write more soon.

This is me 6 years ago...

As a part of Throwback Thursday, I happen to took a snap of my old Flickr account out of nowhere. Somehow searching for a spark of new inspiration and ideas I've been longing for quite some time now.

This picture was taken in the last quarter in the year of 2006 where the weather is soaking wet and there's another monsoon approaching. I recently drop out from college after spending a semester in Psychology. I just had my second reconstructive operation both in my lower extremities and my self esteem was really low at that time. I really felt so behind and an outcast I must say. Obviously, I still didn't know how to Squidoo back then but I have those so-called a whatever day blog. 

Except from God, I only rely one person  in the planet for the strength to carry on literally and that is my Mom and of course there's siblings, relatives and friends. It's just so hard for me not to look back because it is what made me right now probably more a better person.

It is said that in times of need you always got your family behind your back. There's nothing truer words other than that. No matter where you came from, no matter what you have, no matter who treats you like a family.

I decided to post this picture not because I pitied myself but because I just want to give credit those people are always who are always backing me up.

When at times I forgot to say it out loud, you should know that I'm so thankful beyond words.

Time really flies. 

Q&A's Pick 5 Favorite Bands

I really wanted to do one of these things! Oh yeah. Let’s get it on…

Pick 5 bands you love before reading the questions

The Beatles
Bee Gees
Chicago
Michael Learns To Rock
Coldplay

What was the first song you ever heard by 1?

I’ve never met a person who doesn’t love the music of the The Beatles.. But to name a few, I love Yesterday, Imagine, Strawberry Fields Forever, Let it Be… many more.

How did you find out about 4?

MLTR always been an all time time favorite of mine since elementary.. they are those few talented Danish guys who can really sing English songs in the 90’s.

Favorite lyrics by 3?

Now being without you 

Takes a lot of getting used to

Should learn to live with it 

But I don’t want to

Living without you

It’s all a big mistake 

Instead of getting easier

It’s the hardest thing to take

I’m addicted to ya babe 

You’re a hard habit to break 

Favorite song by 5?

Fix You

When did you first get into 2?

My parents.

How did you first get into 3?

My dad used to have a collection of CD’s from the 70’s-80’s bands so I was pretty much exposed to them.

Favorite song by 4?

That’s Why You Go Away

A song by 5 that makes you happy?

Every Teardrop is a Waterfall

Favorite band members from 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5?

John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, George Harrison
Gibb Brothers, Robin, Maurice and Barry
Peter Cetera
Jascha Richter
Chris Martin

Favorite album from 2?

Spirits Having Flown

Best live band?

I haven’t seen any of them playing live in person. They are the legends. I only got to see them on YouTube.:)

Snaps right after New Year

Finally, we survive again another year! 

Thank you 2012 it's time for me to let you go. Bring it on, 2013. Please be more gentle and good to me or else. 

Wishing to write more positive thoughts next time. 

xoxo

Cats and coffee is a perfect combo.

It's the time of the year again as much as I cringe the coming of these season I just can't believe we only got one or two days left before the end of 2012 (2013 feels like I'm not ready yet!).

Although having said that, haven't been here for quite awhile but I've always been here, there and everywhere. Cats and coffee is pretty much my best refuge these days. Does that make a perfect combo? Cats are chaotic sometimes and coffee stirs you up until you palpitate and gets you motivated to stay up all night and write. Did I say I'm such a night owl. In the finest hour of the night where everyone was asleep, I found myself puzzled weary why am I doing this for. It is given that I really need to work harder than anybody else I tried to rest my head to that thought. Whatever happens happens.

I feel much better today that I got the chance to get in touch again with special people in my life as it was supposed to be in the beginning. It's just that it is really hard to reach out especially when the gap is as almost as hard as the Great Wall of China I barely can get through. All I can do is to knock it out with all the strength that I have until it crack the surfaces at least to stop myself from breaking down. You cannot blame me when it comes to family it always tears me apart to the point of nervous breakdown. As it always been full of intermittent drama that is never ending. You should expect it.

This year is what a roller coaster ride of emotion. There are days feels like everything is so slow and there are days you really want to call it a day. Also, there are days feels like it easily gets into me so I ended up being tired getting stuck into this bubble or to what they call four corners. The routine can really burn you out to the extreme but so far that just me exaggerating things in my own perspective.

So consider this post as the usual everyday random rant post happens in the wee hours just to free my thoughts and to let go what is needed to let go at the end of the day.

Namaste. 

Sort of a quarter life crisis in the making for a twenty six years old

I admit it. I've been stuck in the rut for quite awhile now. Nostalgia just hits me today unlike any other day the impact was all so great that I just can't stop questioning myself, what I've been doing here? Where do I go from here? Sort of a quarter life crisis in the making for a twenty six years old like me (turning twenty seven years old two months from now) in this so-called earth. I'll let you know the reason once I found out why.

Then there's this things that are not just like before. Anyway, what do I expect I'm living in 2012 and a week from now it will be a new year. This is not the 90's or ending of the millenia anymore. Reality do sucks as much you are trying to find the escape it will haunt you in the face. For a long years now, I've been trying to create my own world where dreams have wings and it can fly like I can do anything that is possible. Now I woke up to that dream world that there's this certain limitation I have it on me. Why can't I be like anybody else?

Don't get me wrong but most physically challenge people like us feels that at a certain point in our lives. For a moment it took awhile for us to find our own wings to soar high. Though I only have a simple wish or you may call it a dream and that is to see the my loved ones especially my mother having a fulfilled life. She didn't ask me for anything but I feel I need to work out more for her. No matter how I can get in my online work somehow just to help her make both ends meet I would do anything for her. Forgive me for being too emotional writing this today. It's just that the feeling is so overwhelming that I couldn't even hold back my tears. I've battled so many issues in my life for most of the time it was a roller coaster ride. Sometimes it takes me up and just like today it takes me down I can no longer find my worth.

I know it is not how things supposed to be that way. Sooner or later, this too shall pass as if I'll be able to find my own worth again.

Weekend Snapshots.

I will miss you, Blanket. May you rest in peace. 12/15/12

Just done sewing some pajamas.

Getting up, update Squidoo, blogging, nap, watching movie online, nursing a dying cat, sew some pajamas... Pretty much that is how my day like on a weekend. 

Tell me about yours.

Don't mind me.

I've battling with such a terrible case of a writer's block or sort of a PMS streaming somewhere in my system  which I don't even know how long it will going to last. I've been worrying a lot in terms of dealing with people in general. They are really making me sick. Yep, I've been down for quite some time now as it is always been this sickening routine probably life is going to be this so unfair for me.

Anyway, moving on to that same old brand new story I just can't believe the year is almost over. As usual I probably won't make any resolutions this time around as I've always been. I just can't conform myself into something I can't done finishing. What a lesson learned. Aren't promises are made to be broken as the wise old saying goes. 

Still feeling crappy. Don't mind me. 

Namaste.