I'm back from a long Blogging Hiatus

Finally I'm back from quite a few months of blogging hiatus though still keeping myself busy in creating lenses and hubs most of the time. So keeping this entry brief so there..

#MusicMonday: The Fireflies Song in ASL

Song of the Day: Fireflies by Owl City



Today I was trying to pick the perfect soundtrack of the day that somehow goes along with the exhaustion I felt towards the happenings of the day. And yet to my surprise I found myself fascinated with this Fireflies music video in ASL.

I'm an Idiopath, so what on Zazzle

Make a personalized gift at Zazzle.

Current mood: Tired/Bipolar

(This is still in regards to Blogging Against Disable-ism Day 2010)

Feels like someone cast a whirlwind of inspiration when I found myself working on a few designs on Zazzle so far I'm pretty much contented with the results. Since it's not been days past since BADD Day I thought of creating some stuff that promote disability empowerment if not something that can relax me as I went through the day.

I've never been good at designing stuff here and there. I'm not pretty much an artsy-fartsy person like my sister does still I found the idea of designing a relaxing job for me.

What do you think?

It’s a BADD DAY! You heard it right, Blogging Against Disable-ism Day 2010!

Tempus Fugit! Times flies as the phrase implies who would’ve thought another BADD Day has gone by?

I remember writing an entry last year in the same exact date, in the same exact location though pretty much I feel like a different person today.

To give you an idea to what BADD Day is, it’s basically a day for blogging about disability related experiences, awareness; empowerment, eradication, discrimination and issues confront a disabled person in this mixed up world.

Somehow, I’ve grown a lot in educating myself about disability in general as well as about my condition having Idiopathic Carpotarsal Osteolysis which is very much rare in the world chances are. As much as that I can say the level of acceptance on my part eventually came on the surface that when you are midst of a tough situation you just know to yourself that this is just a phase or stage of what you are going through. We all go through different stages in our life some brought us to the worst and yet some still brought the best in us.


Since I wrote that entry online I met the wonderful Svarre family from Denmark one day through a message in a social networking site Facebook from Michael that his son Magnus also had the same diagnosis as mine after reading and moved by the information in my blog all about “Idiopath” well that’s how I call myself and I felt it is the much acceptable shorter term for a medical condition which a few people even barely know.

It’s a great feeling to read on a message that people actually read my blog and the fact that a father’s love to his son that despite all the difficulties he’s very much willing to understand of what his son is going through especially in the nature of this condition once you are being struck when you are a kid sooner or later you will feel pain all over your feet, knees, hands and until you can hardly walk in your both feet and knees. It sucks the life in you and you have no one you can ever turned to but your parents who doesn’t even have any idea that their son’s or daughter’s life can never the same again.

It's a great feeling to know that I'm not alone in this battle against disable-ism and its not over yet. There is someone out there who finally heard my voice that I actually can talk to relate whatever we are going through and what every parent has to go through in fighting this idiopathic disease or unknown cause. With all this cause that my own parents had gone through is very much a hard ordeal to shoulder with. As years goes on, I learned to appreciate more whenever I see parent's of special children that have to undergo their own kind of trauma in searching the answers to their child's medical condition.

With all those confusion in my parent's mind, you should expected it because I live in a country where the health and social security system is unstable to provide for its citizen as well for those disabled individuals and not to mention about the education and nourishment.

Let alone these disability statistic in the Philippines speaks for itself as of 2005:


1) There are an estimated 7.5 million Filipinos with disabilities in 2000 based on the World Health Organization’s assumption that 10% of every country’s population has some form of disability. In 2004, the Filipinos with disabilities would reach about 8.3 million.

2) The Government estimates that 70% of those with disabilities live in rural areas where services are often not accessible.

3) Past attempts to include persons with disabilities in national census surveys have not been successful for many reasons, including the refusal of families to declare that they have members with disabilities.

4) The 1990 census of population and housing indicated that there were about 755,000
persons with disabilities, only 1% of the country’s population based on the same census.

5) A national registration conducted by the Department of Health in 1997 showed that there were 469,707 persons with disabilities. This figure was not officially recognized.

6) The persistent armed conflicts and bombing incidents in the southern part of the country are expected to increase the number of persons with disabilities.

Having mention this statistics, it's a wake up call for the people in the Philippines that we are also part of the issue here. This is something to think about especially in the upcoming 2010 Philippine Presidential Election on whom do you think among the 2010 Presidential candidates can contribute to a change for our people and at least to our rotten system. I may not be a know it all person equipped with all the political knowledge but somehow keeping these consideration in mind will definitely make a big difference.

Thank you for reading my entry for this year's BADD Day!

I hope you learned something at the glimpse of my side of the world. Yes, times are tough but only tough people will do. Never, never, never give up! I heard someone said that to me. A well done advice.

Disability Statistics Courtesy of Disabled People and Development

Fish Koi Designs from Zazzle

Make a personalized gift at Zazzle.

Just in time with the Summery day, I finally gave it a try to make a few design on Zazzle inspired by the beach and everything all about the ocean. I'm actually missing the beach right now so I thought Fish Koi in my aquarium would be a perfect theme design for this season.

I am so excited about this somehow I enjoyed the time creating each design with the joy in my heart as if I'm really got to see the ocean myself plus it works so well in Squidoo lenses too coming up!

http://www.zazzle.com/naiza86

Sadness, the real deal..

Sadness begets sadness.

Still struck with the happenings of the day pretty much on an emotional level of attachment when you are kid you tend to linger for something so precious like a pet that you can’t hold on onto even for a minute. Though not a kid anymore just a 24 year old kid that is! Just the thought of it left me totally feeling exhausted being the most emotional person that I am, I’m sure you can just imagine the throw of emotion I can show you.

I just know when something is wrong with me when I tend to act the opposite and verge on the hype of everything I do while coping up in a certain situation. Have you ever had of those episodes as a defense mechanism? Instead of focusing on the negative facets of life, you tend to see things in a different perspective and in a much brighter light that somehow everything happens for a reason crap mentality. It surge you to accept the level of reality that, No, there’s got to be a way better than this or else I have no choice. That’s why some turn into food or anything that can lead you out into that deep, dark room of depression eventually piling up on your way before you even discover, you are waiting to explode.

Having said that, it’s all some kind of observation when the going gets tough, the tough gets going in real life which can be draining at times. It sucks the life in you. Pretty much the life I tried to live in right now. So far, I don’t have the right complain for the thing I can do and cannot do for it pushes me to strive for more and hunger for that deprivation whatever it is. Though in some cases, I try not to focus on the things that can shake my faith as a person as long I still have the people who are also with me at my worst and at my best most especially I’m pretty much okay on that.

I believe that you don’t need to rush things to get hold the goal you are anticipating for as long as you work harder on your craft no one has the right to question your ability as you serve it right. Now I’m trying to focus on the more free-spirited me which I need to contemplate on that surreal level of myself in the near future.

You can never be the person you ought to be in a matter of minutes or days; well it takes time to get used to yourself for whatever you want to do. But the toughest game to do is to know exactly what you wanted to do. It sounds like the much complicated me but the thought of typing those words is what I really mean to say. It’s hard to do when you don’t know what’s in there and what you wanted to do.

Well, that is very me in the past few years of verging and searching thoroughly the purpose why I’m still here and what can I do to make a difference to the people that surrounds even for my own little way. Though still didn’t did much in this life but somehow I’d learned something to be matured enough to say that we should know our goal, our purpose and find a way to act on it. Though there’s still people who are very much widely awake but don’t even opening up their senses that they need to be responsible on their actions no matter what it is. I’m quite puzzled how they seem to wake every morning, go to work and do their job but the real passion is not there and they can even hurt you until you can never be the same again…

With my Martini at home

PS: RIP Martini & One Eye. I'll sorely miss you both...

Being sober is a lame excuse for not working today...

Everything started out as one roller coaster ride of emotions to the extent I’d almost forgotten how wonderful life is. I wrestled with my inner self that somehow I can do things all alone and keep the fine fight of faith which I truly believe in. I was fuming with anger the other day to what I believe a reasonable reason to react out of my fragile nature naturally and it’s just makes me feel better! I’m telling you.

Though I told myself, they cannot let me down by circumstances that this life has to offer so to speak. I chose to rest my case for the moment to face the much lighter things of life to help me grow as a person as a sole individual capable of growth.

I guess, I’m all up for finding the positive reason out in every situation it leads me to. I know, I shouldn’t stop there every day is an endless possibilities because everyone deserve second chances or maybe not.

Too tired...

I am being asked a few days ago via twitter of what basically my blog is all about. Is it what really happening to me or am I some sort of a walking fictional character merely existed in this blogosphere?

Without any offense, I felt that's ridiculous. Of course, I do live and breathe.

It just happen that this is the outlet I'd chose to release the tensions, the joys and the triumph of my everyday life.

Macha, the Winking Cat

I prefer to see life as it comes on my way. I don't make plans for myself even for something I couldn't last to finish but of course I never say die. I know deep in my heart that I had a purpose. Jehovah has a purpose for me and when I started do something I just accept it as it comes without expectation nor excuses.

Simple as that...

x----

Feels like there's no easy way out to sleep well tonight as so many thinking thoughts rummaging through at the back of my mind. I know, how a prayer can be a powerful tool in a crucial times like this when I'm barely exhausted with issues suddenly surfacing in real life. There's money, family matters, arguments and nothing but arguments. Feels like for the first time in a very long time I'm all alone tied up into this chair searching for a silver lining out there at the end of the day. I'm almost there and yet so far.

And there I realize how I can't do this all alone. I need a pillar of strength to grasp on to escape this seems inevitable, dark loneliness coming from an abyss of resentment slowly taking its place in my heart. I got terrified of being mad at someone and scared of myself as I'm losing my grip at anger. I just need everything to voice out that, hey you, did you forget I'm still alive? I know you didn't even care but I'm hurting by the hurt you had caused that is seems irreparable right now. I'm only human. I'm not perfect and I can't live up to your own expectations. If you cannot take me as I am, better deal with it. Period.

Of all the people you may ask I had better issues and got loads of them in my drawer that I really need to bury it down. Somehow, it will take a matter of time on everything to get resolve which I actually don't lose the faith. Just don't get me wrong all the random rants I chose to bury them here instead of keeping it in my chest. Sometimes, the longer it takes you to rest your case can put all your energy down the drain as I'm trying to live my life no better nor worse.

It all sounds like a routine to be in all over again. I just got sick of getting into the arguments again but if it's the only way to straighten up things and be heard why not. Anyway, mind you as I keep on ranting my rants I'm not even aware how time flies its another month again coming. Feels like I'm not still prepared for the month of March to come so many things going on as for the most part its all issues I dare to worry my mind as it keep on coming.

I only have one prayer tonight, may everything put into its place as I'm wishing hard not for a perfect life very impossible rather for the strength amidst my condition. Now I need to work on new ideas for new contents, new niche probably and discover new things to acquire knowledge with all my internet-content business. I don't know how they call that!

May the force be with you.