Cats and coffee is a perfect combo.

It's the time of the year again as much as I cringe the coming of these season I just can't believe we only got one or two days left before the end of 2012 (2013 feels like I'm not ready yet!).

Although having said that, haven't been here for quite awhile but I've always been here, there and everywhere. Cats and coffee is pretty much my best refuge these days. Does that make a perfect combo? Cats are chaotic sometimes and coffee stirs you up until you palpitate and gets you motivated to stay up all night and write. Did I say I'm such a night owl. In the finest hour of the night where everyone was asleep, I found myself puzzled weary why am I doing this for. It is given that I really need to work harder than anybody else I tried to rest my head to that thought. Whatever happens happens.

I feel much better today that I got the chance to get in touch again with special people in my life as it was supposed to be in the beginning. It's just that it is really hard to reach out especially when the gap is as almost as hard as the Great Wall of China I barely can get through. All I can do is to knock it out with all the strength that I have until it crack the surfaces at least to stop myself from breaking down. You cannot blame me when it comes to family it always tears me apart to the point of nervous breakdown. As it always been full of intermittent drama that is never ending. You should expect it.

This year is what a roller coaster ride of emotion. There are days feels like everything is so slow and there are days you really want to call it a day. Also, there are days feels like it easily gets into me so I ended up being tired getting stuck into this bubble or to what they call four corners. The routine can really burn you out to the extreme but so far that just me exaggerating things in my own perspective.

So consider this post as the usual everyday random rant post happens in the wee hours just to free my thoughts and to let go what is needed to let go at the end of the day.

Namaste. 

Sort of a quarter life crisis in the making for a twenty six years old

I admit it. I've been stuck in the rut for quite awhile now. Nostalgia just hits me today unlike any other day the impact was all so great that I just can't stop questioning myself, what I've been doing here? Where do I go from here? Sort of a quarter life crisis in the making for a twenty six years old like me (turning twenty seven years old two months from now) in this so-called earth. I'll let you know the reason once I found out why.

Then there's this things that are not just like before. Anyway, what do I expect I'm living in 2012 and a week from now it will be a new year. This is not the 90's or ending of the millenia anymore. Reality do sucks as much you are trying to find the escape it will haunt you in the face. For a long years now, I've been trying to create my own world where dreams have wings and it can fly like I can do anything that is possible. Now I woke up to that dream world that there's this certain limitation I have it on me. Why can't I be like anybody else?

Don't get me wrong but most physically challenge people like us feels that at a certain point in our lives. For a moment it took awhile for us to find our own wings to soar high. Though I only have a simple wish or you may call it a dream and that is to see the my loved ones especially my mother having a fulfilled life. She didn't ask me for anything but I feel I need to work out more for her. No matter how I can get in my online work somehow just to help her make both ends meet I would do anything for her. Forgive me for being too emotional writing this today. It's just that the feeling is so overwhelming that I couldn't even hold back my tears. I've battled so many issues in my life for most of the time it was a roller coaster ride. Sometimes it takes me up and just like today it takes me down I can no longer find my worth.

I know it is not how things supposed to be that way. Sooner or later, this too shall pass as if I'll be able to find my own worth again.

Weekend Snapshots.

I will miss you, Blanket. May you rest in peace. 12/15/12

Just done sewing some pajamas.

Getting up, update Squidoo, blogging, nap, watching movie online, nursing a dying cat, sew some pajamas... Pretty much that is how my day like on a weekend. 

Tell me about yours.

Don't mind me.

I've battling with such a terrible case of a writer's block or sort of a PMS streaming somewhere in my system  which I don't even know how long it will going to last. I've been worrying a lot in terms of dealing with people in general. They are really making me sick. Yep, I've been down for quite some time now as it is always been this sickening routine probably life is going to be this so unfair for me.

Anyway, moving on to that same old brand new story I just can't believe the year is almost over. As usual I probably won't make any resolutions this time around as I've always been. I just can't conform myself into something I can't done finishing. What a lesson learned. Aren't promises are made to be broken as the wise old saying goes. 

Still feeling crappy. Don't mind me. 

Namaste.

Weekend Food Snapshots.

Graham Tiramisu and Banana Turon Photo Food Mosaic
All the recipe featured here are courtesy of my moody twenty five year old middle sister.

I thought it is more fitting to tell you how my day went was. Life has not always been that grand but it's great to enjoy moments where simple things can really make a difference to your day unbelievably. I've been dealing for quite some time with people's different idiosyncrasies which by the way I really can't stand. Anyways, it is not something to be taken personally so don't get me wrong.

Okay, I'm a kill joy. Deal with it.