I easily succumb to loneliness lately. It crept up and eaten me down like a hungry animal waiting to beaten on its prey. No, it's not loneliness before I knew it. It's a quarter life crises probably.
Check if you experience some of these:
Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include as described by Wikipedia.
confronting one's own mortality
insecurity concerning ability to love oneself, let alone another person
insecurity regarding present accomplishments
re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy (set aside this one for my own preferences, lol)
disappointment with one's job
nostalgia for university, college, high school, middle school or elementary school life
tendency to hold stronger opinions
boredom with social interactions
loss of closeness to high school and college friends
financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unexpectedly high cost of living)
loneliness, depression and suicidal tendencies
desire to have children
a sense that others are doing better than oneself
frustration with social skills
Probably, a quarter life crises are in the making on its way somewhat questioning things like, have I done enough to make it into this life. I guess, I’ve done my fair share of the things I can at least to make myself feel better. Let me took the credit for being some sort of a worrywart in this whole thing.
Now the realization is this: there’s no learning manual, tutorials or webinars that can actually lead you to conquer the highest mountain of fears towards the life in there at the other side. I knew from the start that things ain’t be easy for the moment I step out my comfort zones I have a freaking feeling that I really need to let go and it’s a point of no return as I heard my Mama said.
Twenty five years is not enough to learn all my lessons well and the hardest part of it is on how to keep up in this life.
Old and new resentments about my father still haunting me like I’m the biggest failure happen to his life. Physically I failed at some point for being the eldest daughter who should definitely take charge and look after the family’s welfare. But cheating is never a reasonable excuse. I know, how majority of men cheats nowadays (excuse me, I’m talking in general) but this should not be the case no one can stop a person for being a father, a father not in words but in deeds.
Anyway, who am I to find fault in anyone? Everything was just a plain observation of my spotless mind.
See, I will never learn.
