One of the best thing that life has to offer is that we always had a choice. No better and no worse that is. These days is a combination of being pretty much messed up and trying again after all everyday is an endless journey to a lot of possibilities. Behind closed doors I let it all out the feeling that for the first time in a very long time I'm confronted with a certain anxiety that pushed into shoved. It's not that I'm overreacting in a way I'm not supposed to be but this is the only thing I have and the only thing I can do. The problem with getting used in an everyday working routine in any kind of work you have you tend to cling to it. It becomes a part of your system which you really looking forward to mostly everyday.
Having this disability for quite in my entire life the internet serves as my rear view mirror to the world, a unique platform to express my thoughts in either way I wanted to do, plus this is where I can find my voice to make a difference in my own little ways. So, right now feels like my work is on pending. Everything works in this web system which only a few people in my life would understand as much as I tried to. I don't know. I just missed those quiet mornings curling up to read a book, little kitties running at my feet, enjoying the scorching sun outdoor so I pay a visit. A couple of brisk walk is still the best after I felt the sweat touching my brows. It is said that the morning sun (UV Light)is a great source of vitamin D which is good for the bones. Ideally for those weakling like me who is afraid having a few bruises in the knees when I was little. Mind you, I still love doing it, being with nature, a few hours of sitting in the bench at porch while watching the bystanders passing by. It just left me with a smile thinking if life could only be less a complicated if patterned under the laws of nature, simple but exceptional... No other word I can add up to that. It pretty much sums up this whole past few weekdays. Do you think I really need a life? Oh, come on...
Friday, March 13, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
A Matter of Life and Death
Conversations about Death
Work of Irma Sawitri
Life passes swiftly, but not the buried arrow
Death is the finish, but doesn't end with a final whistle
Between racking one's bones, newsclips of war and daily chatter
We are flung about and we make love
and ready ourselves to face new certainties
If only a person could choose the best way to die
I would die like a fighting cock, quickly
and not in bed
You mean with your body drenched in blood?
Yes, and what's wrong with that?
I thought I saw death standing stalwart
in the doorway
I thought I heard, "She has almost no pulse"
And then, in an instant, darkness came
and everything vanished
But the next morning there was the sun,
the morning paper
And the verge of something I've never understood.
I bow and I kneel, my two hands clasped
and tumbling pray with a beggar's determination
Don't take him, I whisper, don't take him
How can I be so fickle, and am I that contemptible?
Life is the best part of death,
and you are the best part of the dream
I never knew,
Why they didn't track you down or your grave
Though I did seek myself in you
in fissures of time
Forever asking but never finding
I was dragged asunder by the hurly-burly of the world
on my side didn't history once stand
albeit with no rifle or loudspeaker in hand
I can't believe I was writing my supposed to be last night's entry. This is the problem with me when I get so much tired almost the whole day all the plans of writing never pushed through. I've been through a monotonous routine of sleep mostly every night sometimes it just leaves me fully awake in the late midnight hours.
I'm really trying to be systematic nowadays. Very much not in a technical sense, but I'm trying not take things seriously I mean taking things as it is. Apparently, I've been successful if not I'm going to leave it plainly as it is. I'm tired everything. I'm tired of being anxious when it doesn't have to do with myself.
Now I have no choice. I'll be banned from blogging until I get a new computer. Bye for now. Hang in there! I'll write more soon about it. So sad... sad.. sad.
Work of Irma Sawitri
Life passes swiftly, but not the buried arrow
Death is the finish, but doesn't end with a final whistle
Between racking one's bones, newsclips of war and daily chatter
We are flung about and we make love
and ready ourselves to face new certainties
If only a person could choose the best way to die
I would die like a fighting cock, quickly
and not in bed
You mean with your body drenched in blood?
Yes, and what's wrong with that?
I thought I saw death standing stalwart
in the doorway
I thought I heard, "She has almost no pulse"
And then, in an instant, darkness came
and everything vanished
But the next morning there was the sun,
the morning paper
And the verge of something I've never understood.
I bow and I kneel, my two hands clasped
and tumbling pray with a beggar's determination
Don't take him, I whisper, don't take him
How can I be so fickle, and am I that contemptible?
Life is the best part of death,
and you are the best part of the dream
I never knew,
Why they didn't track you down or your grave
Though I did seek myself in you
in fissures of time
Forever asking but never finding
I was dragged asunder by the hurly-burly of the world
on my side didn't history once stand
albeit with no rifle or loudspeaker in hand
I can't believe I was writing my supposed to be last night's entry. This is the problem with me when I get so much tired almost the whole day all the plans of writing never pushed through. I've been through a monotonous routine of sleep mostly every night sometimes it just leaves me fully awake in the late midnight hours.
I'm really trying to be systematic nowadays. Very much not in a technical sense, but I'm trying not take things seriously I mean taking things as it is. Apparently, I've been successful if not I'm going to leave it plainly as it is. I'm tired everything. I'm tired of being anxious when it doesn't have to do with myself.
Now I have no choice. I'll be banned from blogging until I get a new computer. Bye for now. Hang in there! I'll write more soon about it. So sad... sad.. sad.
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